For The Therapy Savvy + Therapy Curious Reader
A.R.E. You There???
What is the secret ingredient that makes a relationship thrive?
Dr. Sue Johnson, who founded EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), the most researched couples therapy model (1), has studied this question extensively. She has been able to distill the answer to this key question down to its bare essentials: What truly makes a relationship thrive and provides the key to long-lasting love is emotional responsiveness. What emotional responsiveness is and how it works is outlined by the acronym A.R.E.
(Note: The principles of A.R.E. can also be applied with equal effectiveness to familial relationships and friendships; however, in this article I will be addressing the romantic relationship only. For the purposes of simplicity, I will be referring to a romantic relationship with a single partner, which is not intended to exclude those in poly or open relationships.)
So What Is A.R.E.?
The Pleasure Principle: What It Is and How It Can Improve Your Relationship to Food and Your Body Through the Practice of Intuitive Eating
The Pleasure Principle is simply this: Our bodies are wired to move towards pleasure and avoid pain. We naturally gravitate towards things that taste, smell and feel yummy and delicious. We naturally avoid the opposite. To try to fight the pleasure principle, as so many diets encourage us to do, is to fight one of our most basic instincts. Is it any wonder then that so many diets fail?
What if following and listening to our pleasure was really the secret to it all? What if by listening to our bodies instead of fighting them we started to come into a better balance around our weight and body image?
Impossible you say? Let me invite you to temporarily suspend your disbelief until you read the rest of this article…
Pleasure is the key to the practice of intuitive eating…
Ondina Nandine Hatvany, MFT
Ondina assists traditional, alternative and queer couples with an approach that combines the latest discoveries in neuroscience with powerful and effective developments in couples research. She uses an approach called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to help her couples get past blame and shame to a place of more understanding, trust and intimacy.
As former Director of the Eating Disorders program at the Community Institute of Psychotherapy Ondina advocates a Health at Every Size (HAES) approach that empowers women to befriend their bodies.
Ondina works with trauma/ abuse survivors using EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) and somatic (body mindfulness) psychotherapy techniques with a high effectiveness rating.
Finally as a somatically trained psychotherapist and former yoga teacher, one of the ways she can assist you to make lasting changes is to foster body mindfulness. She uses somatic psychotherapies such as Hakomi and Somatic Experiencing to facilitate transitions and shifts that last.
Feel Free to call for a free initial phone consultation on Ondina’s confidential office line (415) 381-1065 or e-mail: Ondinah@gmail.com