Is your relationship drowning in “to-do’s”? Learn about the power of connection rituals and how to be a “Human Be-ing” instead of just a “Human Do-ing”. Find out about “the Neurobiology of We” and how mindfulness can increase empathy and trust…
The Pleasure Principle: What It Is and How It Can Improve Your Relationship to Food and Your Body Through the Practice of Intuitive Eating
The Pleasure Principle is simply this: Our bodies are wired to move towards pleasure and avoid pain. We naturally gravitate towards things that taste, smell and feel yummy and delicious. We naturally avoid the opposite. To try to fight the pleasure principle, as so many diets encourage us to do, is to fight one of our most basic instincts. Is it any wonder then that so many diets fail?
In this article I will explore two strands of the “straight safety net”—heteronormative assumptions and heterosexual privilege—and how these create often unacknowledged stress for queer couples. Following are three different scenarios from my sessions with queer couples that exemplify some of these common stressors.
Spring is the ideal time to cleanse and rebuild from the sluggishness and inactivity of winter. According to Chinese Medicine, spring corresponds to the liver and gallbladder organs in our bodies. During the winter we tend to consume diets heavier in protein, fats and dairy, which can all overburden these organs. When congested, the liver and gallbladder can also cause more feelings of depression, irritability and anger. Spring is the time to detoxify, give the liver a good cleansing and boost our digestion, resulting in better moods and increased energy levels.
Beginning in infancy, relationships, food and feeding become intertwined. Think about it: Baby cries and baby gets fed. Someone has to do that feeding, and that someone is usually holding the baby and relating to him or her. So, from our earliest memories, food and being fed is one of our first ways of connecting to one another. As we grow and develop, social events often revolve around mealtimes; whether it is family dinner or a social gathering with friends, we are enjoying the nurturing that food and company can provide.
Holidaze is not a misspelling. I use it because it is so indicative of what the holidays can feel like—a holy daze! As we run around buying gifts and preparing our foods and celebrations, it is so easy to forget ourselves and go far beyond our limits. When the gift opening or the meal or party that we’ve been so busy planning and preparing for finally arrives, we wonder why it’s hard to enjoy it. We wonder why we feel so exhausted, strung out and stressed. This article is a reminder to remember yourself in the rush of the holidays. What would it be like to really nurture yourself during this season?
Although research has shown little conclusive evidence of the correlation between eating disorders and sexual trauma, it is a different story in my psychotherapy office. I will always explore any potential link between a client’s struggle with food, weight and body image issues and their history of sexual trauma. Below are a few clinical examples of how my clients’ struggles with their eating disorders were directly related to their sexual trauma.
At first glance it might seem like there could not be any possible connection between struggles with food/ weight/ body image and personal relationships but I have yet to see a client struggling with disordered eating who doesn’t also have issues in their relationships or issues with their lack of relationships.
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing. A big name for a relatively simple but highly effective method for dealing with trauma or what I like to call “emotionally stuck places.” It involves what is called bilateral stimulation of both hemispheres of the brain with a variety of methods.
Learn to negotiate so you can effectively handle conflict. All healthy relationships need conflict to grow however many people are afraid of conflict because they don’t know how to negotiate. Learn how to create “win-win” situations with effective negotiating skills. Good negotiation will also vastly improve your communication skills.